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One of the biggest topics that always comes up in group is social stigma. These are some of the lessons and themes I’ve learned.
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Since running the group, I’ve seen the battles my brothers face as they navigate this disease and society’s view of people with HIV/AIDS. We decided on the name New Beginnings, because being diagnosed with this disease is not a death sentence, but rather an opportunity to recommit to your health and well-being. How do I know? Well, I run a support group called New Beginnings for older gay black men who have HIV/AIDS. Yet, for older black gay men who are living with HIV/AIDs, it’s still a difficult journey. Today as a black gay man, I enjoy more freedoms and rights (as a New Yorker, I have the right to marry my long-term partner Stanton). And I grew up during a time when I lost many loved ones due to HIV/AIDS, a disease that was viewed by the world as a critical epidemic. I also grew up during the Stonewall Riots, feeling the hostility society harbored toward lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBTQ+) people. I grew up during the civil rights movement, seeing powerful black activists around me fight for our civil rights as a people.
#BIG BLACK GAY MEN SERIES#
February 7 is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, so our first post in the series is on HIV/AIDS in the black community by Ty Martin, Community Liaison at SAGE Center Harlem. See more of Eric's work at and at flickr.In honor of Black History Month, the SAGE Blog will feature a post on LGBTQ+ aging in the black community every Thursday during the month of February.
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'A few weeks he will recover a normal stomach but he will remain a hero for life.' 'Becoming a fat man is the dream of every Bodi kid,' says Lafforgue. But a few weeks later, the next generation of competitively fat Bodi men will be chosen and the cycle will begin again. Village elders will then inspect the stomach and the blood to see whether the future will be a bright one or not.Īfter the ceremony, the men's lives return to normal and most lose their enormous bellies after a few weeks of eating sparingly. Once the fattest man has been chosen, the ceremony ends with the slaughter of a cow using a huge sacred stone. The ceremony itself involves spending hours walking in a circle around a sacred tree, watched by the other men and helped by the women who ply them with alcohol and wipe away the sweat. Once in the car, he started to drink milk and blood again because he said he wanted to keep trying to be the fattest until the very last moment.' 'One asked me if he could use my car to go to the ceremony area. 'Some fat men are so big that they cannot walk anymore,' explains Lafforgue. Thanks to the weight gain, many of them find covering the short distance tougher than the weeks spent fattening up. Relief: During the walk and the ceremony that follows, the Bodi women are on hand to help out the fat men with drinks of water and fortifying alcohol On the day itself, the men cover their bodies with clay and ashes before emerging from their huts for the walk to the spot where the ceremony will take place. The man must drink it quickly before it coagulates but some cannot drink everything and vomit it.' 'The first bowl of blood is drunk at sunrise. 'The fat men drink milk and blood all day long,' he says. 'The blood is taken by making a hole in a vein with a spear or an axe, and after that, they close it with clay.'īecause of the scorching temperatures, the men have to drink the two-litre bowl of blood and milk quickly before it coagulates but as Lafforgue reveals, not everyone can handle drinking so much at speed. 'The cows are sacred to the Bodi tribe so they are not killed,' explains Lafforgue. Every family is allowed to present an unmarried man for the challenge, who, after being chosen, retires to his hut and must not move or have sex for the duration.įood comes in the form of a cow's blood and milk mixture, served regularly to the men by women from the village. The contest begins six months before the ceremony.